Proverbs 18:8 - The words of a
gossip are like choice morsels; they go down to a man's inmost parts.
Last week after I left a doctors appointment I had to kill time until I could meet a lady to buy a book, so I decided to have a late lunch, all by myself. I went to a little Mexican place that I rarely eat at, they have the BEST chips and I couldn't wait to eat some. It was around 2, so the place wasn't busy at all. The lady sat me a couple of tables over from a group of 7 or so people, they seemed to have been there for a while, just talking & laughing. You could tell by appearance that the people at the table were Christians, well, I couldn't see their hearts but again, by their clothes & hair, I felt sure that they were Christians. I ordered my food & decide that I needed to eat slow, so that I could waste time until the meeting.
As I am sitting there enjoying my meal, my ears start hearing the conversations from the group across from me and all of a sudden, my chips didn't taste as good. I started to hear phrases about other preachers, not totally bad ones but they seemed pretty judgmental. I also heard about certain people that weren't in church & how they would never change and the tithing topic got brought up as well. I was appalled to hear these conversations so loudly and in public, from what it seemed to be pastors and or leaders. I wondered if the other family that was sitting near this group, were Christians and if so or even if not, was this kind of talk turning them off? A voice in me kept saying, you know, you should say something to these people on your way out! As I am sitting there, thinking these thoughts, I realized how much judgement I was placing on this group!!! Would I have listened as closely if I couldn't tell that they were Christians? I didn't know if these people had bent over backwards to help the families that they were talking about & maybe they were just at a lost as to what to do. Who was I to judge their judgements? Had I not had some of these very conversations myself? You know, I don't know if what they were saying was just gossip, discernment or just talking problems out but what I do know is that it affected me. It made me loose my appetite! It made me start thinking about what I say, not only in a public place like that for everyone to hear but also on the phone with just a friend or in front of my kids. I don't want others to feel what I felt that day. Sure we need to talk & be discerning and we need to make judgements about certain people and issues so that we can know how to address situations. The one thing that hit me though is that if you aren't covering the people or situation in prayer, if you are just talking & not praying, it probably shouldn't be coming out of your...MY... mouth!! This includes family...ugh.... yes friends & family members that just can't get it together, that choose to live foolishly. You know the ones that drive you insane with always living in drama and a full blown crazy cycle that they choose to live in? Yeah, so God has really told me to watch my mouth!! Watch it because my words can affect & infect people. Instead of venting about how wrong this or that person is, I am choosing to let it out to God. I want my words to represent Christ. Proverbs 16:24 Pleasant words are a honeycomb, sweet to the soul and healing to the bones.
Lord, help me to watch my mouth, even if that means to talk less, even if that means that I need to learn to bite my tongue, even if that means that I might not get my .02cents in! Help me to to talk my judgments out to you & depend on you for clarity & direction! You, my redeemer, are my defender, your defense carries more power than my words, remind me to always allow you to defend my honor and should I have to speak, make judgments or even take action, help me to do these things through you!!
Tuesday, August 21, 2012
Thursday, August 9, 2012
Teacher, say what?
Has God called you to do something that you are feel that you aren't equipped to do?
Hebrews 13:20-21
Now may the God of peace, who through the blood of the eternal covenant brought back from the dead our Lord Jesus, that great Shepherd of the sheep, 21 equip you with everything good for doing his will, and may he work in us what is pleasing to him, through Jesus Christ, to whom be glory for ever and ever. Amen.
This week, most of our area public schools have started their new school year. They have had their "meet the teacher" nights, stores have boomed with everyone shopping for back to school clothes & backpacks and the back to school pictures are constantly being put on the net from moms. I remember being a child & how exciting the first day back to school was and I also remember being a mom of a public school child & his many first days of school. I remember when God called me to homeschool my children, thinking of the many things that they would miss out on, the first day, meet the teachers and back to school clothes were on my list of what they would will miss out on.
Today, it's 7am and my kids are still in bed, our school year hasn't started yet! We will start next week, I have been busy researching curriculum and ordering their books and supplies. When I first started homeschooling, I remember that I thought it was strange that other homeschool families didn't stay on track with the public schools, the start their school year, the start & end of the school day and vacation days. I soon realized that even though there needs to be structure and a daily routine, keeping up with the public schools just didn't make sense in my home. As of next week, our routine will kick in, with also allowing adjustments for a couple of classes that will be taught outside of my home this year.
If you knew what goes on inside of my head, you would realize how much of a miracle it is, that I am homeschooling my children. As a child, I didn't apply myself in school, I just "got by". As I got older, I believed that I couldn't be successful in life because I didn't do well in school. My not doing well in school was the result of not applying myself, NOT because I wasn't smart enough but it took me a long time to realize that. When God told me that I needed to homeschool Olivia for kindergarten, I was like ok, I can do that but then he said, you have to homeschool Nick too. ugh!! Nick was in 7th grade and one of the smartest kids that I knew and the thought of teaching him intimidated me. I won't go into the problems we were having with the system and how he was doing in school because it really came down to God telling me to do something and I needed to obey. I didn't feel sure of my ability, some of the thoughts of not being smart because of my schooling still lingered in my head. I was pretty fearful but God kept assuring me that I had heard him right, so I made the leap into homeschooling both of my children. I can't say that we haven't struggled. You know the saying" If God lead you to it, he will lead you thru it"? Well, he has proven that saying true in so many ways. I am not equipped but God is. I don't have a degree in teaching but God told me that it's ok because I am sufficient. When I get the normal questions from family, friends & strangers about being sufficient, about not having a degree, about not doing it the way the public schools do or about being socially deprived, I hear God whisper, I called you to it, these are my plans that you are obeying and that kind of assurance helps me answer the questions. Hearing God constantly tell me that I am enough, over rides what I used to believe about myself and my ability and walking it out in obedience is a daily choice for me. I choose to believe that what he has called me to do will impact and mold my children for what he has in store for their future but I also believe that he uses this act of obedience to shape me, to mold me, to tell me daily that I am enough.
Hebrews 13:20-21
Now may the God of peace, who through the blood of the eternal covenant brought back from the dead our Lord Jesus, that great Shepherd of the sheep, 21 equip you with everything good for doing his will, and may he work in us what is pleasing to him, through Jesus Christ, to whom be glory for ever and ever. Amen.
This week, most of our area public schools have started their new school year. They have had their "meet the teacher" nights, stores have boomed with everyone shopping for back to school clothes & backpacks and the back to school pictures are constantly being put on the net from moms. I remember being a child & how exciting the first day back to school was and I also remember being a mom of a public school child & his many first days of school. I remember when God called me to homeschool my children, thinking of the many things that they would miss out on, the first day, meet the teachers and back to school clothes were on my list of what they would will miss out on.
Today, it's 7am and my kids are still in bed, our school year hasn't started yet! We will start next week, I have been busy researching curriculum and ordering their books and supplies. When I first started homeschooling, I remember that I thought it was strange that other homeschool families didn't stay on track with the public schools, the start their school year, the start & end of the school day and vacation days. I soon realized that even though there needs to be structure and a daily routine, keeping up with the public schools just didn't make sense in my home. As of next week, our routine will kick in, with also allowing adjustments for a couple of classes that will be taught outside of my home this year.
If you knew what goes on inside of my head, you would realize how much of a miracle it is, that I am homeschooling my children. As a child, I didn't apply myself in school, I just "got by". As I got older, I believed that I couldn't be successful in life because I didn't do well in school. My not doing well in school was the result of not applying myself, NOT because I wasn't smart enough but it took me a long time to realize that. When God told me that I needed to homeschool Olivia for kindergarten, I was like ok, I can do that but then he said, you have to homeschool Nick too. ugh!! Nick was in 7th grade and one of the smartest kids that I knew and the thought of teaching him intimidated me. I won't go into the problems we were having with the system and how he was doing in school because it really came down to God telling me to do something and I needed to obey. I didn't feel sure of my ability, some of the thoughts of not being smart because of my schooling still lingered in my head. I was pretty fearful but God kept assuring me that I had heard him right, so I made the leap into homeschooling both of my children. I can't say that we haven't struggled. You know the saying" If God lead you to it, he will lead you thru it"? Well, he has proven that saying true in so many ways. I am not equipped but God is. I don't have a degree in teaching but God told me that it's ok because I am sufficient. When I get the normal questions from family, friends & strangers about being sufficient, about not having a degree, about not doing it the way the public schools do or about being socially deprived, I hear God whisper, I called you to it, these are my plans that you are obeying and that kind of assurance helps me answer the questions. Hearing God constantly tell me that I am enough, over rides what I used to believe about myself and my ability and walking it out in obedience is a daily choice for me. I choose to believe that what he has called me to do will impact and mold my children for what he has in store for their future but I also believe that he uses this act of obedience to shape me, to mold me, to tell me daily that I am enough.
Wednesday, August 1, 2012
Drop your pointing fingers & open your arms
It's funny how God will use a sermon & use it in a totally different way for you. Last Sunday, Larry Pate spoke on loving more, pointing your fingers less, to serve more and to "go out" for Jesus more. All week, I have prayed that God would show me where I point my fingers and boy has he answered!
I am sure we can all look back on our past & see how we have been molded. We can think back to something that we went through or a skill that we had to learn or a battle that we had to walk through, that has either opened you up to being help others in that area or maybe you are using it in life today but never saw back then, how it could be used in your future. Joyce Meyers says, "let God turn your test into a testimony and your mess into a message". Can we look at our life daily or during a trial and say, "Lord, this is for my good & your glory (Janine Mangum quote) and I don't know why I am going through this or why I am having to learn this skill at this job that I can't stand but I am going to trust you enough to make the best of it and let you apply it later, if need be.
I can surely look back on my life and see how I have been molded & I can also look back & see where my sins brought consequences that hindered what God was using to mold me. I can see how my photography is being used now to bless others and to help my finances now but what if I had gone through college and finished that journey. Imagine the lives that I could have touched, instead of living in shame & feeling like a failure in that area & storing that gift away, until I finally let God break those shackles. I can look at the years that I spent working in a preschool, teaching pre-k, at how it gave me helped give me have confidence with homeschooling when God called me to homeschool my children. I can also look at my Daddy and see how knowing who he was, has helped me have compassion and a more servant heart towards my husband because they share many of the same qualities.
Can we as parents look into the daily lives of our children and see how they are being molded? Can we look at the struggles that our teens face, their battles of sin/weaknesses and say, "Lord, I am going to trust you, you hear my prayers, I am not going to control this area, I am going to trust that you are allowing this because it will help shape him/her"? That's a hard one huh? I wonder if we stopped pointing our fingers & relate more, would their hearts be more willing to change? Yeah, probably so & I do try this but when the going gets tough, it's easier to point fingers and control right?
Can we as spouses drop the expectations of our husband/wife and trust that God could be in the process of molding them? I wonder how much freedom this would bring, if we could live that daily? If I could REALLY not just know but live it? If it's a job that they hate, that you are sick of hearing about, could we encourage them to hang in there because God might use that skill or even workplace for his kingdom & your spouse? If it's a sin or a struggle that they have, can we get over our own selves, stop pointing our fingers and pray and believe that God is strong enough to free them/us but maybe the walking out of this struggle, the dieing to flesh is exactly what God using to mold them/us? Would that help us to encourage, love and accept in a more compassionate way?
I know there's a lot of questions in this blog, really this is just a bunch of thoughts & questions that I have jotted down, while trying to stop wrestling with my pointing finger & to trust God.
Lord, help me to love like you do, help to stop pointing my finger and open my arms, help me to trust you more and forgive me when I don't.
I am sure we can all look back on our past & see how we have been molded. We can think back to something that we went through or a skill that we had to learn or a battle that we had to walk through, that has either opened you up to being help others in that area or maybe you are using it in life today but never saw back then, how it could be used in your future. Joyce Meyers says, "let God turn your test into a testimony and your mess into a message". Can we look at our life daily or during a trial and say, "Lord, this is for my good & your glory (Janine Mangum quote) and I don't know why I am going through this or why I am having to learn this skill at this job that I can't stand but I am going to trust you enough to make the best of it and let you apply it later, if need be.
I can surely look back on my life and see how I have been molded & I can also look back & see where my sins brought consequences that hindered what God was using to mold me. I can see how my photography is being used now to bless others and to help my finances now but what if I had gone through college and finished that journey. Imagine the lives that I could have touched, instead of living in shame & feeling like a failure in that area & storing that gift away, until I finally let God break those shackles. I can look at the years that I spent working in a preschool, teaching pre-k, at how it gave me helped give me have confidence with homeschooling when God called me to homeschool my children. I can also look at my Daddy and see how knowing who he was, has helped me have compassion and a more servant heart towards my husband because they share many of the same qualities.
Can we as parents look into the daily lives of our children and see how they are being molded? Can we look at the struggles that our teens face, their battles of sin/weaknesses and say, "Lord, I am going to trust you, you hear my prayers, I am not going to control this area, I am going to trust that you are allowing this because it will help shape him/her"? That's a hard one huh? I wonder if we stopped pointing our fingers & relate more, would their hearts be more willing to change? Yeah, probably so & I do try this but when the going gets tough, it's easier to point fingers and control right?
Can we as spouses drop the expectations of our husband/wife and trust that God could be in the process of molding them? I wonder how much freedom this would bring, if we could live that daily? If I could REALLY not just know but live it? If it's a job that they hate, that you are sick of hearing about, could we encourage them to hang in there because God might use that skill or even workplace for his kingdom & your spouse? If it's a sin or a struggle that they have, can we get over our own selves, stop pointing our fingers and pray and believe that God is strong enough to free them/us but maybe the walking out of this struggle, the dieing to flesh is exactly what God using to mold them/us? Would that help us to encourage, love and accept in a more compassionate way?
I know there's a lot of questions in this blog, really this is just a bunch of thoughts & questions that I have jotted down, while trying to stop wrestling with my pointing finger & to trust God.
Lord, help me to love like you do, help to stop pointing my finger and open my arms, help me to trust you more and forgive me when I don't.
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