What does it mean to dance

I find it funny when people jokingly say, "I am just waiting for (insert name here) to start running down the isle at Church dancing". Typically the saying is meant in a joking, almost mocking way & that is what I find funny but not funny as in agreement with them. In all of my years at Church, I have only seen a few that have actually did this but I find the saying funny because it I can't imagine being that FREE!!! There is a song that says, "I am Free to Dance", these people can truly sing this song, while the mockers will sing this song with their hands in their pockets. Now I am in noway saying I think we should all be running around dancing at Church and I am not saying that all that do dance, are doing it for God & not making a scene for themselves, I am just saying, WoW at the Freedom to dance!!
I say Wow because there is something that distracts me from worshiping God in a physical way. It's my weight. I have let the desires of my flesh or really of my mouth, hinder how I worship. I am so cautious of my weight and body that sometimes it is a distraction in my worship. Thoughts will pop up, is this shirt covering my hips when I raise my hands, are the tops of my arms covered, and more things of this nature. Now I am not saying this is my every thought. I do push forward, I do say no to those thoughts & I still worship. I will not allow it to keep me from the presence of the Lord. I just know that anything that hinders my walk & worship should be addressed.
So today the Lord lead me back to my journals that I kept during our Pastors conference in 2011. The theme for the conference had nothing to do with dancing but many speakers talked about dancing. Some of the things that were said were:
You have to dance, to live in Awe Greg Serrat
Sin will steal your dance, when you don't confess your sins, you don't feel like dancing, Greg Serrat
Dance & enjoy life, life is too short to hold on to "things & people", Ann Lipscomb
Don't get me wrong, this blog isn't about me feeling sorry for myself or that I am depressed & have no self worth because of my weight. I am not walking around daily thinking, Oh my Gosh Betty, you are so fat! It's just the fact that I know that I was meant to be FREE!! Eve was naked, how much more freeing could GOD have made us? We were meant to be so free that we could walk around naked, yet fully layered in clothing, I want to hide parts of my body while worshiping!!
So what am I doing about this, besides blogging? I am choosing life!! We are in our Fast at Church & I have given up many things that I normally have each day aren't healthy for me, and I am choosing to pray instead of having these things. I am praying that this isn't about pounds, that it isn't about my body being pleasing to me but that my choices for my health will line up with and bless the plans that the Lord has for my life. I don't want my choices to be distracted or restricted because of my health. If when I am 70yrs old, a teen that likes to walk, needs a Godly walking partner & mentor, I want to be able to be that person. If when my daughter is my age & has 3 kids (yes that is her plan not mine ha) and she wants to go visit Betsie Mac in Thailand (yes her plans too) I want to be able to say, yes I can keep your kids for 2 weeks while you go Minister to the lost. Instead of saying, it is hard for me to get up & down with the kids, my knees won't allow me to run after them..... Ya know, it's things like this that I want to be able to do in my future because being able to do these things will make me want to dance & rejoice!!!
So really it's not about dancing, it's about freedom! My prayers each day always start out with Lord help me reclaim my health because I want to be free.
This song is in my heart today
I am Free, by the Newsboys
Through you the blind will see
Through Through you the dead will rise
Through you the mute will sing
Through you all hearts will praise
Through you the darkness flees
Through you my heart screams
I am free
Yes, I am free

I AM FREE TO RUN
(I AM FREE TO RUN)
I AM FREE TO DANCE

(I AM FREE TO DANCE)
I AM FREE TO LIVE FOR YOU
(I AM FREE TO LIVE FOR YOU)
I AM FREE
(I AM FREE)
YES I AM FREE
(I AM FREE)

Through you the kingdom comes
Through you the battle's won
Through you I'm not afraid
Through you the price is paid
Through you there's victory
Because of you my heart sings
I am free
Yes, I am free

Through you the dead will rise
Through you all hearts will praise
Through you the darkness flees
Through you my heart screams
I am free
Yes, I am free

I AM FREE TO RUN
(I AM FREE TO RUN)
I AM FREE TO DANCE
(I AM FREE TO DANCE