Matthew 8:10 When Jesus heard this, he was amazed and said to those following him, “Truly I tell you, I have not found anyone in Israel with such great faith.
It amazes me how Jesus can break through years of wrong thinking, in just a couple of days. I mean years of fear filled, right intentions with love at the core, based thinking. Leaving love & fear fighting over who would direct & guide.
After I posted my last blog, I sent it to my dear friend and mentor, Janine. She encouraged me as usual and as usual she gave me something to chew on. It was just as if Jesus was finishing his word to me about giving my son over to the Lord. She suggested that I look at my concerns and make sure that they aren't based on fear. SIGH... When I read her words, my heart sank. Fear? No, it's not fear it's that I am keeping him from walking a path that would lead him to a way of life that would be hard from him, it's that I am protecting him from harm, it's, it's it's....FEAR BETTY, I could almost hear Janine say those words, Betty it's fear.
After I was able to process what the Lord had brought to my eyes, I started looking up information on parenting with fear. The very 1st thing that I came upon didn't have anything to do with parenting with fear specifically, it was fear in general. I clicked on a link that I truly believe will be with me forever. I started reading the 1st chapter from the book Fearless, by Max Lucado. Then I watched the free sermon that was available for the 1st chapter. Oh my word at the truth that pierced my eyes and heart. The chapter was about Jesus in the boat with his disciples with the storm brewing. I can't even give a brief description of what all Max brought up, it was so much to process. There were so many powerful truths that I will be on the 1st chapter for a while.
A few things that God showed me, with huge neon signs I might add! Even though my intentions were right on trying to protect my son, I let fear turn into control. I let control turn into a God you could say, because even though I prayed about the situation, I still did not let go of control. I let the what if's of fear lead me to have, as Max Lucado describes, spiritual alzhiemers. Why couldn't I stop in the middle of the what if's and see what the Lord has done in ME? I was a wreck, most people are blown away when I tell them about the person I was in my past, yet I let fear in a little situation tell me this is on YOU Betty, YOU have to do something, control this Betty. Your sons future is at stake, you can't let him fail!!! Then I think about Hannah and she gave Samuel to Eli, to a house that Eli's own sons were horrible sinners, she still trusted the Lord and gave her son. Another thing that God showed me was that I lead my husband to this fearful way of thinking. A couple of years ago, Mike tried to tell me that I was fearful. He didn't use those words though, it almost seemed like he was saying you are over reacting and freaking out. When I look back now, I really should have stopped and prayed about what Mike said because I am sure the Lord would have showed me what Mike meant. Instead, I refused to listen to my husband and trust the Lord, Mike eventually gave up and joined me in my efforts to control. I actually repented to Mike about this when he got home from work yesterday.
God also spoke to me last night through the wisdom from our Care Group. Last night was our night to lead and Mike has been working late and working even later, remodeling our bathroom, so I asked him if I could show the video and have everyone talk about fear. I had seasoned parents that had to walk a hard road with their son that lead a crazy life for a few years. The son was also there with his family and he is also our Youth Pastor. God spoke through their experience as parents and one that walked the road as well. We also had another member there, that had witnessed these years and had seen God do powerful things in Trent's life.
What does this mean now? Do I have to change everything? Where do I start? To be honest I don't know. I do know that I am not jumping into anything, I am not making any changes without turning them over to the Lord. I know that there is balance, you can't go from one extreme to the other but I can't ignore the fact that I have to trust the Lord and remember that HE SAVED ME and if he can save a wretch like me, then HE WILL DO, AS HE SAID HE WOULD DO, HE WILL FINISH WHAT HE STARTED!! This is the point to where I am meditating on Matthew 8, the miracles that Jesus performed.Then the fact that while in the storm, his disciples, that had saw these miracles with their own eyes, totally forgot WHO HE WAS and what he could do, they let fear cause them to forget!
I am anxious to see where the Lord is taking me and where this will lead my parenting but I feel like he is saying, be still, take this all in and this is what I plan to do!
This brings a song to mind, Let Faith Arise!
Amen!
Thursday, April 26, 2012
Monday, April 23, 2012
I give you my child
One of the Books of the Bible that has always captured me is the book of Samuel. I couldn't say exactly, what it is about this book that captures me because it reveals so much about Samuel, Saul, David & Johnathan and I am sure there are many more that I am not thinking of right now. There's love, covenants, war, protection, promises and provision. I find myself going to this book a lot, it's a familiar place that I can go & even though I know it so well, I always find new things, like little notes from the Lord that are "just" for me"!
For a while now, Mike & I have been been at our breaking point with an issue with our teenage son. There is this "one" thing and I won't go into details, it really doesn't seem like a big deal to many but it could turn into something, if it is not dealt with. It is something that could shape who he is & cause problems for him as he gets older. Actually, some people probably think we are overboard but even the smallest weakness in our lives can grow & change us. I am telling you all of this, to show you how the Lord has spoken to me this morning through 1st Samuel, giving instruction & encouragement in this area.
In 1st Samuel, chapter one, it tells about a desperate wife by the name Hannah. She desperately wanted a child, she watched another wife have many children, this other wife laughed and provoked Hannah for many years. Hannah mourned, pleaded in prayer and went to the Altar of the Lord for mercy. She told Eli, the Priest about her burden and Eli asked the Lord to bless her with a child. In return, Hannah dedicated the son back to the Lord.
When we think dedicated, we think about our little baby, dressed in white, surrounded by family, getting sprinkled with water and prayed for by our Pastors. This wasn't the case for Hannah! Once the child, Samuel, was weaned, Hannah took him back to Eli, just as she had vowed to the Lord. This part used to really get me, she wanted a child so badly but even in her plea for a child, she vowed to give this unborn, not yet conceived child, back to the Lord. I don't think I have fully grasped on to this totally, it is probably my own selfishness that keeps me from understanding it fully.
This morning, as I "again" read about Hannah dedicating Samuel, the Lord spoke to me. It was at the point of where Hannah walks away, leaving her son with Eli. I finally got it!! She was able to give back to the Lord, because he was so gracious to give to her. How could she not keep a vow, after he did such a miracle in her. She was able to walk away because she had full trust in the Lord because not only did he give her the desires of her heart but he trusted her with a child. Now it didn't say that she felt or knew that this child would grow up to be used to raise future leaders, kings even!! Nor did it say that she knew that he would be a prophet. In verse 27-28 it says,
27 I prayed for this child, and the LORD has granted me what I asked of him. 28 So now I give him to the LORD. For his whole life he will be given over to the LORD
Now to go on and read of who Samuel became and how he was used has always amazed me. However, this morning, I am in awe of Hannah!!! It says that each year at their annual sacrifice, she would take Samuel a coat that she had made for him, can you imagine how proud she was, year after year, seeing her baby grow into this man of God?
So in my awe this morning, God said, "wait, don't forget about the Dad, get ALL of this Betty". So I went back yet again & read this chapter.
21 When her husband Elkanah went up with all his family to offer the annual sacrifice to the LORD and to fulfill his vow, 22 Hannah did not go. She said to her husband, “After the boy is weaned, I will take him and present him before the LORD, and he will live there always.” 23 “Do what seems best to you,” her husband Elkanah told her. “Stay here until you have weaned him; only may the LORD make good his word.”
This is a man that has many other children by another wife. This is also the husband that watched Hannah cry and hurt for so many years because she couldn't have a child. I didn't know Elkanah but I know that most husbands want to give their wives what they want, they hate to see us hurting and desperate. On top of this, he was still the father, sure he had other children but it was still a beloved child of his.
It didn't say that the Lord spoke to Elkanah or that Elkanah had made a vow to the Lord about his child. It said that he stood by the vow that his wife made with the Lord. It also said, he chose to respect his wife in her decision on timing of the dedication. It showed a husband and wife in full unity with each other and the Lord, over the future of their child and his future.
This has given me strength to stand strong & stand with my husband, to not be lead by my feelings but to be lead in Wisdom from the Lord. It reminded me of the unity that I have felt lately with the choices in our parenting that I have felt with Mike. It has opened my weak eyes to the bigger picture of what the Lord is doing. The Lord is raising up a son, his name is Nicholas and he is not only using Mike & I but other leaders. The Lord constantly shows us, in perfect timing, when things need to be addressed. The Lord has said, "You can trust me, for Nick is mine too Betty, I have plans for him, this little weakness of his will be broken and used for my Glory one day". Refocus and trust, don't loose sight of this area but refocus enough to see the bigger picture so that you won't loose hope".
For a while now, Mike & I have been been at our breaking point with an issue with our teenage son. There is this "one" thing and I won't go into details, it really doesn't seem like a big deal to many but it could turn into something, if it is not dealt with. It is something that could shape who he is & cause problems for him as he gets older. Actually, some people probably think we are overboard but even the smallest weakness in our lives can grow & change us. I am telling you all of this, to show you how the Lord has spoken to me this morning through 1st Samuel, giving instruction & encouragement in this area.
In 1st Samuel, chapter one, it tells about a desperate wife by the name Hannah. She desperately wanted a child, she watched another wife have many children, this other wife laughed and provoked Hannah for many years. Hannah mourned, pleaded in prayer and went to the Altar of the Lord for mercy. She told Eli, the Priest about her burden and Eli asked the Lord to bless her with a child. In return, Hannah dedicated the son back to the Lord.
When we think dedicated, we think about our little baby, dressed in white, surrounded by family, getting sprinkled with water and prayed for by our Pastors. This wasn't the case for Hannah! Once the child, Samuel, was weaned, Hannah took him back to Eli, just as she had vowed to the Lord. This part used to really get me, she wanted a child so badly but even in her plea for a child, she vowed to give this unborn, not yet conceived child, back to the Lord. I don't think I have fully grasped on to this totally, it is probably my own selfishness that keeps me from understanding it fully.
This morning, as I "again" read about Hannah dedicating Samuel, the Lord spoke to me. It was at the point of where Hannah walks away, leaving her son with Eli. I finally got it!! She was able to give back to the Lord, because he was so gracious to give to her. How could she not keep a vow, after he did such a miracle in her. She was able to walk away because she had full trust in the Lord because not only did he give her the desires of her heart but he trusted her with a child. Now it didn't say that she felt or knew that this child would grow up to be used to raise future leaders, kings even!! Nor did it say that she knew that he would be a prophet. In verse 27-28 it says,
27 I prayed for this child, and the LORD has granted me what I asked of him. 28 So now I give him to the LORD. For his whole life he will be given over to the LORD
Now to go on and read of who Samuel became and how he was used has always amazed me. However, this morning, I am in awe of Hannah!!! It says that each year at their annual sacrifice, she would take Samuel a coat that she had made for him, can you imagine how proud she was, year after year, seeing her baby grow into this man of God?
So in my awe this morning, God said, "wait, don't forget about the Dad, get ALL of this Betty". So I went back yet again & read this chapter.
21 When her husband Elkanah went up with all his family to offer the annual sacrifice to the LORD and to fulfill his vow, 22 Hannah did not go. She said to her husband, “After the boy is weaned, I will take him and present him before the LORD, and he will live there always.” 23 “Do what seems best to you,” her husband Elkanah told her. “Stay here until you have weaned him; only may the LORD make good his word.”
This is a man that has many other children by another wife. This is also the husband that watched Hannah cry and hurt for so many years because she couldn't have a child. I didn't know Elkanah but I know that most husbands want to give their wives what they want, they hate to see us hurting and desperate. On top of this, he was still the father, sure he had other children but it was still a beloved child of his.
It didn't say that the Lord spoke to Elkanah or that Elkanah had made a vow to the Lord about his child. It said that he stood by the vow that his wife made with the Lord. It also said, he chose to respect his wife in her decision on timing of the dedication. It showed a husband and wife in full unity with each other and the Lord, over the future of their child and his future.
This has given me strength to stand strong & stand with my husband, to not be lead by my feelings but to be lead in Wisdom from the Lord. It reminded me of the unity that I have felt lately with the choices in our parenting that I have felt with Mike. It has opened my weak eyes to the bigger picture of what the Lord is doing. The Lord is raising up a son, his name is Nicholas and he is not only using Mike & I but other leaders. The Lord constantly shows us, in perfect timing, when things need to be addressed. The Lord has said, "You can trust me, for Nick is mine too Betty, I have plans for him, this little weakness of his will be broken and used for my Glory one day". Refocus and trust, don't loose sight of this area but refocus enough to see the bigger picture so that you won't loose hope".
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