Lead Me

     Last week, I stepped out of my box in a couple of big ways. The first step was to join a coed team with my husband. It really couldn't get over the fact that I actually said yes to something so out of the box for me. I instantly saw the fruit of it though. When my husband & I practiced, we had a common interest, we shared something that was new for me, something that he could lead me in, something that he could assure me that I would do fine, something that he was able to pour encouragement in me through. It felt good too and I could tell by the look on his face, that he enjoyed it as well. I also stepped out of my box by planning a very romantic night for our anniversary. Now of coarse, I can't get into those details but I can say that I was nervous!! It wasn't that I hadn't planned romantic nights before but it has been a very long time, so it felt new to me, sad huh? It did however, open my eyes to how valued and adored that it made my husband feel.
 Remember the blog that I posted last week about God asking me why? Well, I keep hearing that question. I have stopped so many times over the last week to ask why. As I said before, it is a process, I am trying to find out why. The answer to most of they why's have been simply, I want to meet others needs or I want them to be happy. Does this mean I am a people pleaser? I am not sure, I don't do things to make people like me or think highly of me, it's help, it's to bring a smile or it's to step in when someone else hasn't. Whatever the case, in this last week, after asking why & getting my answer, God has said, "what is important Betty"? He is taking me beyond they why.
   Our youth worship band sings a song that has some pretty powerful lyrics to it;
You won't relent until You, have it all My heart is Yours You won't relent until You, have it all My heart is Yours. These words keep playing in my mind, he won't relent. It's like the questions that keep coming to me, why, what is important. I feel like he is saying, I won't relent until you get it all Betty, not just a piece of what I am trying to tell you, not just a step in the right direction, I ready to take you all the way.
   Want in on where he leading me? Right back into the arms of my husband, right back to walk along side of him. Most of the Why's have been things that take me away from my husband,  now it's not the leading astray as into the arms of another, it's ministry, it's my children, its my family, it's the things that you feel are "good" things to do. The what is important questions have ended with, well HE is more important, the other things are good and important too but not as important. Not only has God been speaking this to me but yesterday I asked for prayer over something that I needed counsel on & it lead me right back to walking with my husband, letting him lead me. Then in conversation last night with our youth pastor, he told me about a book that he is reading &  that he had thought about me while reading this book. He said that I need to read it. He said that a part of what the book talks about is that, though we all have individual purposes, we have to also realize that our marriages and family have a purpose. Basically like, what is the story that God wants my family to write, the people that he wants it to influence, the ministry that he wants us to serve in, the generations and our legacy.
   I think when one spouse has been on their walk with the Lord longer than the other, we feel the need to lead, we feel that they will catch up, when really we need to walk along beside them. With cutting things out of my life, slowing down, I am able to walk with my husband & my mind isn't in a million different places on where I should be or what I could be getting finished.