Can you TRUST even in dark waters?

   Last week the kids and I made our way to Gulf Shores Alabama and had a wonderful time. We were invited by cousins on my husbands side of the family, cousins that I had only been around a few minutes here and there. It didn't take but a minute to realize that our families "fit" right together, just as if we had grown up around each other. The entire week was spent in pjs and swimming suits! This was the most relaxed vacation that I have ever had. We didn't even eat out until the last night there, you can't get more low key than that!
   The first day on the beach, the water wasn't clear at all. I got in feeling a little uneasy because I didn't know what was swimming around me or what was ready to pinch my toes but after a few minutes the fears were gone. On the second day the water was clear, I got in without feeling uneasy because I could clearly see what was around me.  I constantly searched  around me and looked out into the ocean ahead of me, looking to see what might "get me". What I noticed was that I wasn't really fearful but had this feeling that I could handle myself. At this point, I wasn't even waist deep, I felt like I could control my fate from danger because I could see all that was around me & I was close enough to run for cover on shore.
   Later that night I was sitting on the beach, listening to the crashing waves, absorbing the beauty that God had set out in front of me and felt God opening my eyes and ears. The ocean was so dark and I thought, there is noway that I would get in that water right now, even though it looked so peaceful. God reminded me of the unclear water, the clear water and the dark water. He said, Betty the water is still the same, it is how you choose to stand in it. Will you be fearful, will you play at ease or will you stand with caution from wisdom that I have given you. You see, when the water was unclear, I became carefree because I couldn't control what I didn't see. When the water was clear, I wasn't carefree because I on guard to control my safety. When the water was dark, I knew better than to get out in it because I had been taught about beach safety and feeding times for sharks.
   I can't go into full details about how this has been applied to my life but I must share a little. I am not sure if you remember the blog about the book of Samuel & how Hannah gave him back to the Lord (I give you my son) but I was able to see fruit on this vacation from obeying God regarding my son. Again, I can't tell you what it was exactly but I can tell you that his heart has been changed in many areas. I saw my son feeling grieved by things that he saw & heard, things that a year ago would have been a huge temptation for him. We talked for a couple of hours and he went on and on about different things going on in his life. My heart felt like it was going to explode because these issues were answered prayers, it was growth & maturity and redemption over thoughts, actions and motives that I used to try to control. I realized that when things were clear, like the clear ocean, is when I sheltered Nick so much, I could control (not) what affected his thoughts, motives & actions, so I frantically watched around him for danger and even looked way out into the future, fearful of how his future would be affected. The unclear water represented how I started to let go. In the unclear water, I had no choice but to let go, well when God spoke strongly to me about parenting in fear, I had no choice but to let go & trust God. I had to allow Nick to grow and walk on his own. Then there's the dark water, it is where I find peace in trusting that the Lord will give me the wisdom that I need when I need to step in and protect my son, when I need to pull him back from the darkness and the unknown. This is where I choose to reside, in the peace of the Lord and his protection because when I finally chose to sit in this place, God was able to reach Nicks heart. God was able to speak to Nick and open his eyes and to break my sons heart for sinful ways not only of his but for the ways of this world.
   Now today, I wonder where else in my life that I need to walk in the unclear waters & let go, to wander around a little more carefree, a little or a lot less controlling and then to sit back in the peace of knowing that God will give me wisdom, he will protect and he will answer when I seek him. What are the areas that I watch out frantically, ready to attack & control instead of seeking and trusting God? Something to chew on for sure!!
  Just so you know, the following days I became carefree in the ocean even on the clear days, I had fun and trusted that I would be safe. I do however, have a tubing trip this weekend in a river with snakes and possible gators. Lord help me to apply these truths to the unclear, mucky river water so that I can have fun and be carefree!!
Jeremiah 29:13
You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart
a couple pictures that I took while on vacation